SO IT'S BEEN AWHILE

So I've been a little MIA lately, first because I really didn't
have any great "bad dating" stories to tell and second
because life has just been very busy.

The good news or bad news is that I don't think I can blog

about bad dating stories for a bit...Why?! Well because good

things are happening and the last couple of months have

brought so much happiness to my life.

So yes you may have guessed it right. I am dating someone

and he is so great! I'm not going to write much right now for

fear of jinxing myself. But I have a feeling that we will be in

each others lives for awhile, so stay tuned.

HERE IT IS

Thanks Melissa for nudge to get this done.

So...
I started out the week of Memorial a bit nervous and excited
to finally meet Georgia boy...which is what we will call
him. We exchanged phone numbers on Tuesday and
I thought he would call before he left to make plans.
But I did not hear from him til I was driving to work
Friday morning when he texted me rather than call me.

He had missed his flight the night before and was still trying
to get to Utah for the weekend. We decided that we would
make plans once he knew he had a flight and was traveling
towards Utah. Twenty minutes later he was booked and
headed for Utah. He wanted to meet for dinner shortly
after arriving in Utah and was going to call me when he
landed to finalize where and when to meet. He called and
we made plans to go to the Red Butte Cafe on
Foothill at 7:30.

Something that I have learned about myself in the last 3
months is that I don't like being the first one to the restaurant
when meeting a guy for the first time. So I made sure that
when I left it wasn't too early but that I wouldn't be late. He
called me when I was driving there to tell me that he was
already there and to let me know when I got there and he
would meet me at the door. It was refreshing to know that
he would be there before me!

He was waiting outside the door and hugged me first thing.
He told me I was exactly what he had expected. So far so
good. He had picked a spot on the deck, but it got very
cold so we ended up moving inside. We spent the next 2
hours or so talking, eating and getting to know each other.
From how I felt and how I thought things had gone I felt like
we had hit it off. It wasn't a feeling of he is the one or
anything, but it was a good feeling.

He walked me to my car and as we walked I asked what his
plans were for the rest of the weekend?? I asked so that I
could see if I was in those plans. But alas I wasn't...He was
spending the rest of the weekend with family and friends...
I didn't know quite what to say at that point, especially since
he had been so anxious to meet me but only willing to spend
2 hours to get to know me while he was here. His last words
to me were lets keep in touch and then he was gone.

I drove away, very confused and I not sure where we
would go at this point.

I ended up texting him when I got home to say I had a great
time and if he had time to see me before he left? He said he
had a great time as well and would possibly have some time
Sunday after church and would call me.

I kinda had a feeling at that point that something wasn't
right. I've learned that if someone is interested they will want
to see you, want to spend time with you and will make it happen.

Sunday came and he texted rather than called to say that he
wouldn't be able to leave his family and friends to see me.
But that when he was in town again we should get together
and do something. He is in the army for heavens sake. It
could be months or years before he comes back to into town.

The next 2 weeks we continued to connect with each other
over email and his fast response had me believing that
maybe things were fine, until one of his emails was short and
nothing like the others. So it got me thinking and stepping
back to give him space.

Now for the finale...which makes me glad that I didn't write
this post sooner because now it has a beginning and an end.

Friday June 10th
My sister Angie asked me for some ideas of places to go to
take some family pictures. I had drove for a fieldtrip a couple
of years ago to the capital and was lucky enough to look out
of Memory Grove. I thought then that it would be a great
place for pictures. So I told her about it and that's where
we decided to the take pictures. We were going to do them
on Saturday but last minute changed to Friday instead.

I left work about 4:00 and drove down and I parked way to
far away but wanted to make sure that I didn't end up with
a parking ticket for parking in the wrong place. So I walked
the blocks to Memory Grove to meet mom at their car.

I am now a firm believer of things happening for a purpose.
Every decision I made and everything I did, from the time I
left work had a purpose was meant to be!!!!!!!

After walking the 4 1/2 blocks with all of my stuff...because
I didn't want to leave it in the car and have someone break
in...I got to mom and dad's car tired and ready to just sit for
a bit. Dad called and told us that there were some
benches and tables in some shade that we could go to sit.
There was no question in my mind that we were going
to stay in the car on the comfy seats and maybe make
our way to the benches in awhile. Mom was reading a book
and I pulled out my computer to play a little Bejeweled.

While sitting there, maybe 10 minutes later I saw a boy run
by the car on a wall that separates the sidewalk and a small
stream, and heard a man call his name. The guy came into
view and then stood on this little wall facing the car. I
looked up and my heart went into my stomach, and my heart
started racing.

I said to mom "that's Georgia boy!" She was like what?!?
I knew it was him but for a second was unsure. Since I only
saw him for a couple of hours in person. So when he walked
near the car I called his name out the window. It was
definitely close enough for him to hear...I called his name a
couple of times and got no response from him what so ever!
It made me wonder if it really was him, or if it was, was his
name his real name?!?

As this was happening I knew it was all happening with
the help of God. It was so surreal.

I noticed that he holding his phone so I decided to text him.
I texted him saying "I think I see your twin here in Salt
Lake". We did this while watching him the whole time from
the tinted windows. When he got it and read it he started
looking around. He instantly texted back "where are you?"
"Memory Grove" he wrote back "Lol, it's me".

At this point I got out of the car. He was with a woman, the
boy and a dog. He hugged me but said very little to me,
wouldn't meet mom, and got into the car that was parked
right behind mom and dads and left. What are the chances
of running into him in such a large city, and to have parked
right next to him. Seriously ?!?

He texted me a couple hours later saying how great it was
running into me earlier, and that he got lonely so he came
back to Utah for the weekend. I told him it confused me
seeing him earlier. He couldn't understand why so we
talked on the phone and when it ended I was still not clear
so we ended up talking again.

Basically he wasn't feeling it, but didn't want to be mean to
me by telling me right after meeting me. So I proceeded to
tell him that there was a difference between being mean
and being honest.

He didn't want a long distance relationship (he's the one
who lives in Georgia and found me, in Utah), and didn't know
when he would be back to Utah with being in the army.
I told him that no matter how much he liked getting my
letters that I was no longer going to write him or keep in
contact with him.

I told him that I had been on the dating site to date and
possibly find a husband. From his response, he was obviously
on the site for a very different reason. I almost wanted to say
to him, "You shouldn't be on a dating site if you are just
wanting someone to write to you for company!."

He said he had not lied to me about living in Georgia but
had some time off so he came back the day before to visit for
the weekend. The woman was supposedly a friend and her
son, who was late for a soccer practice, and why he couldn't
stay to talk very long, or to meet mom.

He apologized for many things and from this experience
will do things differently the next time.

So there you have it, in a very very very long email.

Thank goodness for blessings answered,
and the lessons learned!

8 OR SO DAYS AND COUNTING

So life has been busy and I haven't even thought about blogging.
Probably because I haven't had any really funny experiences with the
opposite sex. I'm sure you guessed from my previous post that I joined
the world of online dating...It wasn't my idea, and I probably wouldn't have
given it another shot had neighbor Jim not asked me to give it a try.

It was a huge eye opener and nerve racking to say the least!! So now
that I'm ending my lovely experience here shortly it has me looking back
and reflecting on everything and the last 106 days. It is only now that
I see the humor in my experiences and that I did have some funny
experiences I could have been writing about all along.

Here are some of the highlights!
I had guys anywhere from 12 years younger to 22 years older.

One guy who had 30+ brothers and sisters because his father is a polygamist.

Another who tended to his rose gardens and built doll houses.

A mad 50 year old because I turned him down and didn't write him a very personal refusal.

One who said I wasn't spunky enough to keep up with him.

Many that I didn't have anything in common with, and I mean ANYTHING!

Divorced more than once and expecting me to not be freaked out by the track record.

One who told me he would "Lie to meet me" What does that mean?!

Oh and was told "I look like a dog" when I turned down a real winner of a guy!

Matched up with an Osmond...hehe

Talking with one on the phone and he ended the call to answer his mother's call...

"Come to Provo to watch TV with me, other girl's haven't had a problem with it. It's not because I don't have gas money, it's because I'm on a strict grocery budget."

"I have references from other women that I'm a great kisser"

And my Favorite
(53 year old) wanting to date me because he wanted to still have children.

Many of the guys I dealt with on the dating sight were very persistent. Some were a bit clueless on dating etiquette. More than once I had guys in Provo begging me to drive to them after talking only 15 minutes with them. After hundreds of profile views and quite a few turn downs to the brave ones putting themselves out there I was quickly getting to the point of canceling.

I did the stupid thing of paying for 3 months rather than 1 month at a time. Sometimes I wonder why I do what I do!?! I could have totally been done by March 7th or even April 7th but noooo I had to do the 3 months, and by the middle of March I was really done and thinking about canceling and just being out the money but happy!

On March 18th one of the very persistent 23 year old's found me and instant messaged me, and I should have looked him up before answering him so I could decide if talking to him was worth it. But I didn't. After going the rounds with this guy for a bit I learned that when a guy instant messages me, that I should take the time to look him up first before writing back and chatting.

On March 19th I was dog-sitting for Lattins and the power went out for 3 hours. Without power there wasn't much to do so in my pajamas I pulled out my laptop and got on the site to see if the Saturday crowd was any better than the evening and Sunday crowds. My thought was that if I continued to get weird guys that I would just stop getting on the site, and let my subscription run out on June 7th.

I had only been on a short time when someone with an interesting username started instant messaging me. I set in motion of looking him up before chatting. First I went to the guys who had most recently viewed my profile, thinking he must have read about me first. Nope he wasn't there. Then I went to the list of guys online at that moment. Just my luck 30 pages to go through. Why couldn't it be more simple? Well the list is organized by those closest to me in distance to farthest away. I figured this would be an easy find. After going through about 15 or so and realizing that I was now in California. I started to think, is he hidden somehow? I've had that before...it's a rude awakening sometimes when you finally see who they are. I really didn't want that. But being the too nice of a person I am, I started talking to him without finding him. But continued to look for him while chatting. Somehow I missed him in my looking. So I went back to view the list of guys who had viewed my profile and he was there!!

And he was cute...Bonus!
Had my main 3 qualifications...Score!
Living in Columbus Georgia...Wow!
Was I willing to get to know him anyways...You Bet!
We have been emailing each other Since March...

I love this picture because it is almost a reflection of how excited
I am that He is coming over Memorial Day weekend and we are
going to meet each other in person.

YAY

Stay Tuned.......

ALL THINGS SHALL BE FOR EXPERIENCE

So I've been on three dinner/lunch dates in the last 3 weeks with three
different guys. All three were interesting and worth the effort for the
experience. I haven't dated a lot in the 17 years since I turned 16 and the
only experience's I've had to judge things by haven't been all that great.
So I feel like I'm getting a crash course on dating at a rapid speed.

I'm learning about what qualities are most important and which ones
I don't care for, and how important chemistry is even though the
person is a nice good person.

Date with guy #1 was insightful. We had only had a few conversations
before he asked me out so there was little that I knew about him
before going. He was 33, aspiring to be a full time janitor for a
school, shorter than me, little motivation for going to college, and lives
at home with his parents. I felt like we were on very different
levels in life even though we were the same age. We talked for
3 hours and no matter how I tried I was not attracted to him or
excited to go out with him again. I'm the kind of person who can talk
to just about anyone and make friends with someone in line at the DMV,
but he took the fact that we talked for so long as chemistry whereas I did
not, and couldn't wait to get home. I knew instantly that I didn't want to
go out again. I wished I had, had courage right after to say so but I didn't
so I had to let him down in an email later that week.

Date with guy #2 was an eye opener. We had talked for a whole week
practically every night and talked about religion, life, our work, and
everything else under the sun. He was 34, divorced, 2 little girls, has a
good job and was attractive. I really liked talking to him and was excited
to go out with him. I was rudely awakened from the moment we got on
the date til the end by his teasing. Our chemistry in talking was different
than our chemistry in person all because of the kind of teasing he did. It
was very strong and the whole night I felt like he was being critical of
everything I said and was. Half way through the night I asked him if
he was going to be nice to me? And that I felt like I needed to have my
fists up all night ready to defend myself. I tease and like to be teased but
his teasing was more than I expected or could handle. We were going to
go out again and see if things were better if we did something more
interactive rather than just sitting and talking he said he would get
back to me about it but I've yet to hear from him 2 weeks later.
Honestly I'm not too upset that he's gone.

Date with guy #3 nice. We had talked for 2 1/2 weeks over email
and then had phone conversations for a week and then went out
after 3 1/2 weeks of everything combined. He has a house in Syracuse,
is 29 years old, works in Salt Lake, love HGTV as I do and has a dog
named Missy. He was cute but a bit quieter than I had expected but I
had a good time. He said he had a good time as well and would call me
to do it again. I didn't feel like it was the best best date ever but it was
nice and worth the effort to go out again and see how it goes. So the
next day I sent him a text thanking him for the day before and hoped
that he was having a good day. It's been 3 days and he has not
responded...Who knows if he really didn't have as good a
time as he said, but it would be nice to have him just say so. I've
noticed that if a guy is no longer interested they just drop you with no
clue as if they didn't need to say anything to you. I feel it's common
courtesy to tell them right out rather than mysteriously disappearing.
It's very frustrating!!! Who knows he could still call, but I
doubt it very much.

So life goes on and I just keep living and waiting for more
experiences to make me more well rounded.

NO CHANGE...WRITE THE SAME

It's a new year and 2010 looked promising at the start but it soon came to a close with no one promising me anything or even some boys not responding in a courteous way. Stepping out of my comfort zone to let them know I would be interested backfired each time but none the less each time was an eye opener, a learning experience and a gathering of wisdom.

There will always be guys I meet and would like to date that have no interest in me, and others that I meet that take my being nice to them as me being interested in them more than a friend. That's life and I'm dealing with disappointment gracefully.

Finding someone you love and loves you back is a MIRACLE.

Since age 16 when I could start dating I didn't do very much of it...well to be honest I had 1 official date, 1 homecoming dance with a kid in my ward who was a bit younger and very socially awkward, and 3 girls choice dances.

So minus the girls choice dances, since they really didn't have a choice in the matter, I had a total 2 experiences to go by when entering college. Which to be honest wasn't enough to base anything by and led me to just hang out/make out with anyone who was interested in me! STUPID to say the least but I sorta figured it out before I left college which led to many dry drought years from age 21-33.

Some sadness but no regrets. All I know about my few relationships if I can call them those, is that they never work out and it's usually one sided or I was going for the completely wrong type of guy. The upside is that when it really does happen I'll know it's right because it works out. haha

2011 is about 2010 experiences and making necessary healthy changes for 2011.

I know who I am and what I want in life, and focusing on the things out of my control...that is unreachable for now...I start to loose sight of what is important for the moment in time which is now. What is happening right in front of me gets less care and attention.

I have to let got of the yesterday's and the tomorrow's and focus on today or tomorrow I will regret what I didn't do to make today fulfilling.

This year I will continue to write boy blog posts since I'm obviously still having them and wishing I wasn't...but until someone asks me to take his last name, give me a ring, or heck tell me he loves me I'll just continue since voicing these lovely experiences is in some way healing and fun!

I promise to work hard in every experience to have my eyes open wide. To let my brain have a more active part with my heart when it comes to boys. No more wasting time on boys who talk a good talk and flirt but don't actually put anything more of worth forward. It's all about respect from others and respecting myself.

Many say that it only takes one...one right one, and it's true, I just now wonder when?