NO CHANGE...WRITE THE SAME

It's a new year and 2010 looked promising at the start but it soon came to a close with no one promising me anything or even some boys not responding in a courteous way. Stepping out of my comfort zone to let them know I would be interested backfired each time but none the less each time was an eye opener, a learning experience and a gathering of wisdom.

There will always be guys I meet and would like to date that have no interest in me, and others that I meet that take my being nice to them as me being interested in them more than a friend. That's life and I'm dealing with disappointment gracefully.

Finding someone you love and loves you back is a MIRACLE.

Since age 16 when I could start dating I didn't do very much of it...well to be honest I had 1 official date, 1 homecoming dance with a kid in my ward who was a bit younger and very socially awkward, and 3 girls choice dances.

So minus the girls choice dances, since they really didn't have a choice in the matter, I had a total 2 experiences to go by when entering college. Which to be honest wasn't enough to base anything by and led me to just hang out/make out with anyone who was interested in me! STUPID to say the least but I sorta figured it out before I left college which led to many dry drought years from age 21-33.

Some sadness but no regrets. All I know about my few relationships if I can call them those, is that they never work out and it's usually one sided or I was going for the completely wrong type of guy. The upside is that when it really does happen I'll know it's right because it works out. haha

2011 is about 2010 experiences and making necessary healthy changes for 2011.

I know who I am and what I want in life, and focusing on the things out of my control...that is unreachable for now...I start to loose sight of what is important for the moment in time which is now. What is happening right in front of me gets less care and attention.

I have to let got of the yesterday's and the tomorrow's and focus on today or tomorrow I will regret what I didn't do to make today fulfilling.

This year I will continue to write boy blog posts since I'm obviously still having them and wishing I wasn't...but until someone asks me to take his last name, give me a ring, or heck tell me he loves me I'll just continue since voicing these lovely experiences is in some way healing and fun!

I promise to work hard in every experience to have my eyes open wide. To let my brain have a more active part with my heart when it comes to boys. No more wasting time on boys who talk a good talk and flirt but don't actually put anything more of worth forward. It's all about respect from others and respecting myself.

Many say that it only takes one...one right one, and it's true, I just now wonder when?