OLD MIKE

Last January I thought it would be good to attend some firesides for ages 31-45, thinking I would meet some new people in my age range. The first fireside I tried with my friend Mandy was at the Joseph Smith Memorial Building. It happened to snow a lot that day and the road conditions should have been our first clue that maybe the fireside was not such a good idea. We arrived late, found the chapel and within seconds...not minutes, seconds, realized that maybe we should have gone back to the car and gone home. After we sat down we turned to each other with a look of "oh my, what are we going to do". We were the youngest in the room by at least 15-50 years. I felt out of place and oh so creeped out! Right then and there we decided that as soon as it was over that we would get out of there as fast as we could, no refreshments no mingling. 20 minutes into the fireside the power went out. I did not think anything about it until it was over and we could not go down the elevator to my car or get out of the underground parking until the power came back on.

We were forced to mingle and wait. While waiting a guy in my ward, who i won't name introduced us to 2 guys he had just met last week. I have very little interactions with this guy in my ward for good reasons and being introduced to guys he just met probably wasn't the best idea. They weren't bad to talk to, they were just a bit over eager to be in our presence. Both were 45, never married. One we named "Old Mike" pressured us into giving him our phone numbers. Too bad we weren't smart enough to change one of the digits so it wouldn't work. Besides the 45 year old thing, Old Mike has never lived away from his parents and still lives with them in their home, and didn't have a job or schooling.

A phone call did come the next day and he left a message wanting us to get together the following Friday and Sunday. My gut feeling was to not return or answer his calls. He called again not 3 hours later. After Monday he called anywhere from 2-3 times a day for a whole week. He would call me and if I didn't answer he would then dial Mandy's phone. By the end of the week I was sick of his calling, messages and I felt downright uncomfortable. Is that the way men are supposed to make girls feel? Do they realize they do that? I finally had to have one of my male friends call him and tell him to leave me alone or he would get the police involved for stalking. It worked and I haven't had a call from "Old Mike" since.

Lessons I learned:

I learned to be more cautious when asked for my number. I shouldn't feel like I'm obligated to give my number to a guy just because he asked for it.

I learned that I can't be so worried about what they will think if I do what's best for me when turning them down by following my instinct or bad feeling.

I learned I'm not attending any more firesides for 31-45 year old's because it characteristically has 45-80 year old's in attendance. When it's announced 31-45 why do older singles attend as well? If it's for all ages than it needs to be advertised that way.

I learned I'm not comfortable dating or spending time with someone who is 10-13 years older than me, especially ones who still live with mom and dad.