OLD MIKE

Last January I thought it would be good to attend some firesides for ages 31-45, thinking I would meet some new people in my age range. The first fireside I tried with my friend Mandy was at the Joseph Smith Memorial Building. It happened to snow a lot that day and the road conditions should have been our first clue that maybe the fireside was not such a good idea. We arrived late, found the chapel and within seconds...not minutes, seconds, realized that maybe we should have gone back to the car and gone home. After we sat down we turned to each other with a look of "oh my, what are we going to do". We were the youngest in the room by at least 15-50 years. I felt out of place and oh so creeped out! Right then and there we decided that as soon as it was over that we would get out of there as fast as we could, no refreshments no mingling. 20 minutes into the fireside the power went out. I did not think anything about it until it was over and we could not go down the elevator to my car or get out of the underground parking until the power came back on.

We were forced to mingle and wait. While waiting a guy in my ward, who i won't name introduced us to 2 guys he had just met last week. I have very little interactions with this guy in my ward for good reasons and being introduced to guys he just met probably wasn't the best idea. They weren't bad to talk to, they were just a bit over eager to be in our presence. Both were 45, never married. One we named "Old Mike" pressured us into giving him our phone numbers. Too bad we weren't smart enough to change one of the digits so it wouldn't work. Besides the 45 year old thing, Old Mike has never lived away from his parents and still lives with them in their home, and didn't have a job or schooling.

A phone call did come the next day and he left a message wanting us to get together the following Friday and Sunday. My gut feeling was to not return or answer his calls. He called again not 3 hours later. After Monday he called anywhere from 2-3 times a day for a whole week. He would call me and if I didn't answer he would then dial Mandy's phone. By the end of the week I was sick of his calling, messages and I felt downright uncomfortable. Is that the way men are supposed to make girls feel? Do they realize they do that? I finally had to have one of my male friends call him and tell him to leave me alone or he would get the police involved for stalking. It worked and I haven't had a call from "Old Mike" since.

Lessons I learned:

I learned to be more cautious when asked for my number. I shouldn't feel like I'm obligated to give my number to a guy just because he asked for it.

I learned that I can't be so worried about what they will think if I do what's best for me when turning them down by following my instinct or bad feeling.

I learned I'm not attending any more firesides for 31-45 year old's because it characteristically has 45-80 year old's in attendance. When it's announced 31-45 why do older singles attend as well? If it's for all ages than it needs to be advertised that way.

I learned I'm not comfortable dating or spending time with someone who is 10-13 years older than me, especially ones who still live with mom and dad.

WHAT COULD BE BETTER?

I’ve been thinking, it’s 2010 and I’m not getting younger… Only wiser cause in my mind, I feel like I look and act young. I’m sure in some people’s minds I’m either really picky or there might just be something wrong with me. Well I’m here to say that I’m pretty normal… as normal as I can be, and if there were decent men or even slightly decent men knocking on my door to be picky about I could be but there aren’t. I’m going to say that it’s all in God’s hands and he hasn’t blessed me yet with my perfect match… or should I say my imperfect match. In the meantime the few dates or interactions with those of the opposite sex are just getting weirder and weirder and very scarce. I have to say though, sometimes scarce is a lot less exhausting and stressful!

Ann at work after hearing my last experience suggested that I blog about these moments because she thinks they are funny. So this year besides blogging about my fun family and friend outings I’m going to write on my blog all of the funny, uncomfortable and just downright miserable experiences I have with boys/older men and the things married people say to me about my singlehood. Hopefully it will only be for the next year, since I’ve decided to spend more time at older single events this year. I can’t say that I won’t have these experiences next year because my fate is in God’s hands and in the agency of myself and someone else. But a year of blogging about these experiences will be enough to look back on and be grateful for either being on my own, having opportunities to laugh, or having the ability to keep moving forward no matter the annoyance.

To start I’m going to blog of last year’s top flops and give everyone a preview of things to come. So here goes my interaction’s as a thirty something single woman living in Utah.

KYMS WEDDING

Last week I made the drive to Rexburg Idaho for Kym & Adams Wedding. I started on antibiotics for my sinus infection the day before I left. I found that they made me feel a bit better but still not tops especially for busy days doing wedding preparations. I really enjoyed the time in Rexburg and Idaho Falls with some of my greatest friends, the Baird Family! Here are a few pictures of us just outside of the Rexburg Temple and after the reception.

Lisa,Kaylee, Cayden, Megan, Joseph, and Zach

Me and Mason

Kym and Adam

Adam, Kym, Maddie, and Denise

It was a very stressful week and Mason laid his head on
my lap and within seconds was out cold. "How did I know,
you ask?" Well I could feel his hot breath from deep sleep
on my leg!

Things you Realize

I've been home sick for the last 2 days and I've been forcing myself to sleep a lot and by doing so I've had trouble sleeping at bedtime. So I thought I would try to not sleep as much during the day so that I could go to bed really early and sleep better during the night. Lets hope it helps me get feeling better so that I can go back to work. Here is what I've realized in my awake moments the last 2 days.

First I realized that I am home during the day on a weekday probably only a handful of days and I wish it were more. Maybe when I'm lucky to be a mom it will be more.

Second I find my condo quiet and enjoyable when everyone is at work. But when it's this quiet you hear the noises that have probably been happening for awhile. So I realized that my toilet makes noises and have made a mental note to ask Danny my neighbor to take a look at it for me.

Third I realized that it's already the middle of October and I've let my favorite month of the year (September) slip by me without fully celebrating it! I need to find ways to not be so busy and enjoy life.

Fourth is that even though I am alone (no one to share house duties with) during this time in my life, I've been blessed with friends who bring me things (medicine, juice) when I can't leave the house.

Fifth that my list of things to do before going out of town next week is getting bigger while I sit at home sick. There have been many moments in the last year where I've wished for a companion to take over these details so they get done rather than pile up until I can do them. But it's not up to me, it's up to that wonderful man above.

Sixth I get to watch my movies and not feel guilty that things aren't getting done. I've watched a few movies. I borrowed The Inheritance and Karate Kid from Richard and April on Saturday and they have really come in handy. The Inheritance has become a new favorite and Karate Kid...Well lets just say I hadn't seen it in a few years, oh about 20 and realized that it was filmed 25 years ago and boy was it cheesy. Ralph Macchio was 23 when he filmed it (looked 14) and today he looks practically the same as he did then even though he is now 48 years old. Check him out on IMBD, I did!

Dishes never spend time in my sink it drives me nuts so I load the dishwasher often, and the sink now looks like their is a party going on, since I haven't had energy to empty the dishwasher to add these.

My new favorite brand of tissue is Scotties, of which I am completely stocked up on cause the Dollar Tree up the street
has them and only for a buck... And cause they are so soft!

It's been overcast and windy for the last couple of days and rain was in the forecast but I haven't seen very much. The wind woke me up 3 times during the night. Without the rain It has been beautiful and I've been able to take the time to look out my sliding glass doors and actual look and see the beauty that will soon be gone.

My favorite tree that gives me shade and privacy during the summer months. Pay no attention to the dirty table, I did the best I could this summer keeping it clean but found it's hard to keep deck furniture clean all summer.

Nie Nie

It's 11:14 at night and I'm sitting on my couch waiting for the ibuprofen to kick in and eating german chocolate cookies. On Friday (mind you while I was at work) I decided that I would look at some of my friends blogs to read new posts. After looking at my friend Taniels blog- I wished I hadn't, because I found myself crying and blocking out work.

I found her newest post about Christian and Stephanie Nielson a young couple with 4 young children (who were luckily not on the plane) and how they had been in a tragic plane crash in Arizona on August 16th 2008. Christian was burned on about 30 % of his body and Stephanie was burned on 80% of her body. Taniels blog directed you to the nieniedialogues.blogspot.com Stephanie's blog about her family and motherhood. I have spent the last 2 days reading every single post (and going through a box a kleenex) from 2005 to just recent.

It has left me very emotional. I already am emotional when it comes to tender moments of greatness so tragedy with triumph makes me even more emotional. It awoke in me a sense of change to be better, make every day great, make mental pictures of every small thing. It makes me excited for kids of my own some day and excited for the hope of a companion who will love me always and unconditionally.

I may never meet Stephanie (nie nie) or Christian but they have touched me and I hoped that I could pass their example to others by posting this on my blog. I hope that you find an hour or a day here and there to visit Stephanie's blog. I at first felt like I was intruding on someone else's family privacy but soon found myself feeling a part of her family. Thousands read her blog before her accident and now over 20,000 read her blog. I will from here on out be one of them. So go ahead and make the effort to read, and become a fan of the nie nie dialogues.