I've been thinking a lot lately about my grandma Doris (my moms mother). Her story is an interesting one and worth telling, but I can't tell it all in one night so I'll post about how and when she got married since it's most often on my mind. My life experiences right now bring me to think about her and compare her life to mine.
My mom was robbed of her mother at the young age of 33! My age 10 months from now. She died 2 months before my 7th birthday. She has been gone a little over 25 years and I still have memories of her and many things remind me of her. After all these years it's still very clear in my heart and mind how I felt when she died.
In July of 1999 at the age of 21 1/2 I had a realization that I might be robbed of my mother. 10 years later my mom is still here and I'm very lucky.
Grandma was born in 1914 and around the age of 35 she found herself still single and many referred to her as the old spinster. Now days being in your thirties not married it's more normal, back then it was unheard of. Soon after age 35 Grandma was introduced to a divorced man (twice divorced) named Arvid who was friends with her brother in-law and they married soon after. Grandma didn't know a lot of his past and heartbreak was not far away. No long after they were married Grandma got pregnant and miscarried a little boy. Soon after she was able to get pregnant with my mom. Arvid left grandma before mom was born! Talk about a shmuck!
Grandma raised my Mom with the help of her parents. But not for very long, both of her parents passed away before mom was 4. It was just the two of them til mom was 10 when at the age of 47 she married Grandpa Scott. Mom says that it wasn't the best relationship but Grandma wanted so badly to be sealed to my mom that she married him. They were married til the day she died and he was actively apart of our lives until he died about 10 years later. I know she wasn't 100% happy but having my mother was the happiest part of her life and that was all that mattered and mom will never wonder if she was loved it was obvious!
I found a photo album years after grandma had passed away and it had pictures of her during her teen years and 20's. There is a man who is in a few of these pictures that is very handsome and is often found with his arms around her and there is even one of them kissing. Grandma has written on the pictures PAL. I think they were more than pals. I asked mom about this man and she says that they knew each other for a long time and that becuase of numerous health issues and his responsibility to take care of his widowed mother that he was to never marry. Here is a picture of the two of them in April 1936, grandma was 22 years old.
I think if given the chance and different circumstances they might have ended up together.
My story will probably be nothing like hers but we have a common bond and I feel like she is here beside me often keeping me positive!
I've learned many lessons from her experiences and will try to make good decisions and keep pressing forward no matter what life brings!
In December I met a guy at a Sunday evening party, and I'm going to call him Bewilder Guy. Well Bewilder Guy and I had great conversation and I thought he was cute. As I was leaving he told me it was nice to have met me.
I was attending a Sunday night potluck a week later and I was standing next to Bewilder guy and I tapped his leg to get his attention and I think I tapped a little to hard. Why do I think that? Well it actually felt more like a kick than a tap. Woops! I apologized of course. We shared maybe 15 words and then he wandered away from me and he stayed away the rest of the evening. So of course from the way he acted I decided to move on and X him out as one to get to know better.
A month later (this last Sunday) I attended January's potluck and was having a good confident night and not scoping out the place which was a bit unusual for me. I was talking to a friend when I noticed that Bewilder Guy was sitting close by. I proceeded to ignore him and act as if I hadn't noticed him. Oh the games we play. I started to talk to another person when all of a sudden Bewilder Guy was right next to me. I finished my conversation and he started asking me about how things were going. I still thought he was cute so I proceeded to talk to him, but the conversation was a bit weird and awkward. Nothing like our first conversation.
He asked if I was on facebook and by the time I got home he had added me on facebook. Uh...OK I guess it had gone better than I thought. Was I shocked? Ya? I guess I need to get to know him better.
Lesson learned, is to expect the unexpected.
Second lesson learned, play hard to get, sometimes it works!
Saturday Night brought a singles party at a church house. I went with a couple of my friends and met up with some others. I didn't know what to expect and just went with an open mind.
I didn't find the activities at hand very fun and found myself in the foyer talking to friends. I had no idea I would end up with a great experience from the night rather than a bad one to blog about.
I had been standing in the foyer for about a half hour and was in the middle of a conversation when I saw a girl who was very familiar to me. Come to find out we had been in the same ward in College and I hadn't seen her since 1998.
Her brother, which we will call Mr Nice Guy joined our conversation and soon he and I were talking about many things. In talking we realized that Mr Nice Guy and I had been at Utah State at the same time and Mr Nice Guy thought that he had met me once during that time. For 2 hours Mr Nice Guy and I talked and never left the small area of where we were standing in the foyer of the church, and it was great! He made me laugh and when one topic of conversation ended another began. I hated to think that at some point our conversation would have to end!
Just my luck, all good things come to an end and the night ended and we both went our separate ways. Maybe one day he and I will talk again. I went home feeling giddy as a school girl. Something I haven't felt in a long time.
Lesson I learned is to never give up HOPE!
On Friday Richard, April, Aubrey, Mason, and I made our way to a Grizzlies Hockey game. I'm one for watching the game as well as observing the people around me! Not far into the first period this group walks in and sits in the row in front of us down a bit. I could tell instantly that they were an older singles group. Why cause I'm living it and you could tell just by how they were acting.
I was observing the guy on the end. We will call him Trophy Wife Guy, he was a Nice casual dresser, clean cut, a tad nerdy but probably makes good money doing whatever he does. He sat on the end of the group and looked like he was the outnumbered guy. So of course I was intrigued! He spent the first 2 periods texting or answering his phone. Finally at the beginning of the 3rd and final period Trophy Wife Guy got up and walked out. He came back with 2 girls that looked like Barbie Dolls. Perfect hair, nails, thick makeup, tight jeans with knee high boots, and expensive purses.
At this point I had to share in the fun and filled April in on my fun only to realize that was noticing it a bit as well. We watched as Trophy Wife Guy talked to barbie girl 1 who was sitting next to him. Barbie girl 2 spent the whole time texting as it was obvious she was support only for barbie girl 1, who from what we were seeing said yes to this guy and rather than telling him no, came late and brought support so Trophy Wife Guy wouldn't get to interested in her.
Barbie girl 2 left within minutes talking on her phone and never came back. Barbie girl 1 did her thing and Trophy Wife Guy seemed to be liking it. Or maybe not? Barbie girl 1 left after only attending the hockey game for probably 5 minutes and never returned.
The second she was gone he had turned to his friends and was mimicking them. April said she could tell by the way Trophy Wife Guy was acting that he saw right threw them.
So why even date them? or invite them to something? Did he hope that besides having a great outside appearance that she would have great personality? Or was she something he could parade around and make other men jealous?
Lesson I learned was to enjoy these moments and blog about it!
The 25-40 group went to "Music and the Spoken Word" this morning. Alicia and I went together and got to the tabernacle on Temple square and met up with the group.
We walked in sat down. I ended up sitting next to a guy who I will name "Sunday Guy". He had a presence about him that drew me to him and I wanted to get to know him and figure out his story.
We starting by asking each other questions about where we work, where we are from, and our interests. I think I had only asked him 4 questions when he threw out that he had been married, as casual as "hey how are you today", was I shocked? Maybe for a second...til I could register what he just said. My thought was if he's married then why is he with a bunch of singles this morning? I guess my response to him telling me this was one he was OK with because after finishing what he was saying "Sunday Guy" elaborated on the marriage point and I wasn't so confused. His divorce was final in November and he has 4 boys under the age of eight. I had respect for him for being up front, open and willing to share so much of his life to a stranger that he had just met 10 minutes earlier. He then turned to me and asked me if I had and I said "no I've never married" and he responded with "yet". He was right someday I will! It was nice to feel relaxed and bring no ideas or assumptions to the table while getting to know another human being. No strings attached just learning about each other. "Sunday Guy" had an inner strength that I was impressed with.
After the program was over the group mingled outside. Without the benches to keep us together to talk and being with a group, it made it harder to continue the conversation with "Sunday Guy". We did though converse a bit while in the visitor center for a group picture and mingling. I checked the time and realized that if I didn't leave now I wouldn't be prepared for sharing time at 1:00. I wasn't sure what to say or how to end things and so Alicia and I just left. I'm hoping at some point our paths will cross and it will be nice to continue to get to know "Sunday Guy".
Lesson I learned is that no matter how many bad experiences there will always be a few good ones.
Second lesson I learned is to be open when I feel calmness.
Yeah for Sunday Guy!
